There was a lot more to this post that I have erased - mostly because it was personal and none of your business. :) I felt it would be healthy for my to write it out and get it off my chest...and then delete it. So if this post makes no sense to you, just keep in mind that it was for my own therapy.
I find that as I focus on raising my children and keeping a somewhat put together home for my husband, I "neglect" family and friends. I go through spurts with my family. A week on and a week off. My family - mostly meaning my mom, my sister, and my mother in law - are my saving grace. I can call them about anything I am thinking or feeling, and they don't judge. I take that back...they might judge, but they are family, so they're not allowed to stop loving me. :) Now throw in my life as a doula. I am spending all of my time focusing on my growing family and these beautiful people who have asked me to be present at their births and help support them. I love every minute of it. But it is even less time that I spend trying to get ahold of friends.
Now, I'd say 99.9% of people that know me, know that I HATE talking on the phone. Write me a letter, text me, or come see me. I don't do phones. They make me nervous - I have no idea why.
The closest of my friends, I talk to maybe 6 times a year. When we see eachother (or make that dreaded phone call), we pick up right where we left off and its like we see eachother every day. To me, that is true friendship. I don't need to check in with them, I don't ever worry that they are mad at me, I usually forget birthdays - I try to drop a message within 2 weeks - and sometimes I don't show up at important events.
I don't ever just "show-up". Even if I know something important has happened, I have an odd respect for others' privacy...so I wait for an invite. And if I don't get one, my feelings aren't hurt. BECAUSE, I am focusing my attention on my growing family.
Note: My mom and sister are probably reading this right now, going....WHAT?!?! My sister and I talk on the phone at least 3 times a day, I go over to both of their houses completely unannounced and stay for as long as I like, I crash my sister's parties by bringing my whole family (at least we bring our own food to eat)... Again, family is a little different. Haha, I used to call my mom and say "Hey! Are you home?" "Yes, why, do you want to come over?" "Sure!" "When will you be here?" "I'm in your drive..."
My point is this: This is me. Take it or leave it. If you are my friend, know that I love you more than you will probably ever imagine. I just don't show it in your average "friendly" ways. My babies and my husband always come first, and I just assume everyone else feels the same way about their families. I try to be respectful of others' feelings, but I'll warn you right now, I DO NOT know how to keep my mouth shut. I demand respect for myself and for those I care about. If I don't feel like you are being respectful, I open my big fat mouth (and probably say things that are not respectful as well - hey at least I'm being honest) and tell you. And yes, this mouth sometimes jeopardizes other relationships. I sincerely feel sad about those jeopardized relationships, but I can't regret speaking the truth about my feelings and emotions. Could I say things in a more gentle way? Yes. And I'm working on that. I definitely have some huge changes to make in my life, and I don't deny it. But this is me. And after a friendly conversation, a sorrowful time, or an argument, I will always tell you that I love you. Because I love you.
Consider me whatever you want...but I expect to hear it back.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
We're All In This Together!
I spend most of my days as a mother, stressing about whether or not I am making the right decisions in raising my children. Most of my decisions are based on instinct, but a few are educated. No matter what I decide on, I always follow it up with research.
I am disgusted by the responses I am seeing to posts about studies being done to better understand the health and well-being of our families. We are bashing eachother as mothers and playing the "I'm right, your wrong" game. This isn't a game. This is about women going through life changing events that shape the rest of their lives; all while they are helping to shape the lives of innocent little people. We should be speaking TRUTH - for the sake of our babies. We should be respectful and demand respect. We need to set a positive example for the little ones who are watching us so closely.
All I ask, is for mothers to try their best. Because that is all we can do.
My response to my recent repost that caused so much off-topic bashing and controversy:
Cesarean Sections
When it comes to moms who have had a cesarean section, I believe there are three types of us.
-The Necessary Cesarean - She does not defend her surgery, her doctors or herself. She knows that what happened, needed to happen - and that at that point, preventing it was out of her hands.
-The Unnecessary Cesarean Acceptance (I believe this is the category I fall under) - She recognizes that her ignorance, and/or fear, and/or lack of support is what prevented her from delivering vaginally. She accepts the fact that it was unncessary and places blame where she feels it need to be. She does not defend her surgey, her doctor or herself.
-The Unnecessary Cesarean Denial - Whether she realizes the surgery was unnecessary or not, she defends the decision. She defends the surgey, usually denying that it did any damage to her or her baby emotionally and sometimes physically. She defends her doctors, putting them on a pedistal of information giving saviors. She defends herself by not admitting to the ignorance, the fear, and/or the lack of support.
No matter what category we fall under - WE ARE NOT FAILURES!
It is OKAY to be ignorant or fearful. We learn from this. It is OKAY to trust our careproviders. We just need to trust OUR bodies too! But, we also have to respect out bodies.
What I Believe to be Truth:
Cesareans are not "good" (except in cases where absolutely necessay - which is about 7% - and I'm really exaggerating that high of a #). They are dangerous to BOTH mom and baby.
Bonding - Can you have a good bond with your baby after being separated for minutes to days? Absolutely! But what mother in the world wants her baby bonding with hospital staff, other family members or an incubator before she gets to? No mother does! No wonder why some mothers have such a hard time connecting. They aren't less determined. They are mammals who are missing out on that crucial moment of discovering their baby! The smell, the feel, the taste - it's not the same when your baby has already been bathed and cradled by someone else.
Breastfeeding - Of course it is the best way to nourish your child. Interruption and separation can really interfere. Some people conquer it and some don't. I have no good reasons why. A mother who makes a true effort is just as good as a mother who was able to overcome the difficulties.
We are NOT FAILURES!
If we are doing all that we know how to do to better our children's lives, then we are succeeding.
When we see someone else's post; instead of being defensive or bashing, try to find the TRUTH in it. Be respectful. Accept your own faults and shortcomings. And maybe, just maybe we can learn something new.
Note: I learned something (not new, but opened my eyes) from a friend's post. Initially I got defensive and took offense to it. But as I read it over and over again, I accepted the fact that my son's circumcision was a result of my own ignorance. I am so thankful that she posted it because now I know I can protect any future sons of mine from it.
We are not failures. Just mothers trying to do what's best for our children.
Let's support eachother in that.
I am disgusted by the responses I am seeing to posts about studies being done to better understand the health and well-being of our families. We are bashing eachother as mothers and playing the "I'm right, your wrong" game. This isn't a game. This is about women going through life changing events that shape the rest of their lives; all while they are helping to shape the lives of innocent little people. We should be speaking TRUTH - for the sake of our babies. We should be respectful and demand respect. We need to set a positive example for the little ones who are watching us so closely.
All I ask, is for mothers to try their best. Because that is all we can do.
My response to my recent repost that caused so much off-topic bashing and controversy:
Cesarean Sections
When it comes to moms who have had a cesarean section, I believe there are three types of us.
-The Necessary Cesarean - She does not defend her surgery, her doctors or herself. She knows that what happened, needed to happen - and that at that point, preventing it was out of her hands.
-The Unnecessary Cesarean Acceptance (I believe this is the category I fall under) - She recognizes that her ignorance, and/or fear, and/or lack of support is what prevented her from delivering vaginally. She accepts the fact that it was unncessary and places blame where she feels it need to be. She does not defend her surgey, her doctor or herself.
-The Unnecessary Cesarean Denial - Whether she realizes the surgery was unnecessary or not, she defends the decision. She defends the surgey, usually denying that it did any damage to her or her baby emotionally and sometimes physically. She defends her doctors, putting them on a pedistal of information giving saviors. She defends herself by not admitting to the ignorance, the fear, and/or the lack of support.
No matter what category we fall under - WE ARE NOT FAILURES!
It is OKAY to be ignorant or fearful. We learn from this. It is OKAY to trust our careproviders. We just need to trust OUR bodies too! But, we also have to respect out bodies.
What I Believe to be Truth:
Cesareans are not "good" (except in cases where absolutely necessay - which is about 7% - and I'm really exaggerating that high of a #). They are dangerous to BOTH mom and baby.
Bonding - Can you have a good bond with your baby after being separated for minutes to days? Absolutely! But what mother in the world wants her baby bonding with hospital staff, other family members or an incubator before she gets to? No mother does! No wonder why some mothers have such a hard time connecting. They aren't less determined. They are mammals who are missing out on that crucial moment of discovering their baby! The smell, the feel, the taste - it's not the same when your baby has already been bathed and cradled by someone else.
Breastfeeding - Of course it is the best way to nourish your child. Interruption and separation can really interfere. Some people conquer it and some don't. I have no good reasons why. A mother who makes a true effort is just as good as a mother who was able to overcome the difficulties.
We are NOT FAILURES!
If we are doing all that we know how to do to better our children's lives, then we are succeeding.
When we see someone else's post; instead of being defensive or bashing, try to find the TRUTH in it. Be respectful. Accept your own faults and shortcomings. And maybe, just maybe we can learn something new.
Note: I learned something (not new, but opened my eyes) from a friend's post. Initially I got defensive and took offense to it. But as I read it over and over again, I accepted the fact that my son's circumcision was a result of my own ignorance. I am so thankful that she posted it because now I know I can protect any future sons of mine from it.
We are not failures. Just mothers trying to do what's best for our children.
Let's support eachother in that.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
End of Nurturing Nature Tea Giveaway
Using ClassTools.net's random name picker, we have picked the winner of the Nurturing Nature Tea. Congratulations Sarah Haren! Contact me via Facebook PM with your address so that we can get your tea in the mail. Hope you enjoy it!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Winter Blues?
Ahhh. The joys of the whipping bitter cold wind, the knee deep white stuff getting in my shoes, and the stir crazy feelings of being permanently trapped in the house. I love the outdoors, but not in this weather. As if the cold and wet isn't enough, the sun rarely shines (and when it does, its usually colder than usual outside), and funds are always running low because of the wonderful holiday season that put us in the spirit of spending more than we have. Oye - yes, I just said "oye". What does a mother do in situations like this? Well, I'll tell you.
I suck it up and I wake up in the morning and say, "The sun will come out, not tomorrow, but in a few more months". And I smile at my children (who I swear are smiling back at me through the tears) and start to clean the house. A messy house NEVER helps with the winter blues, so first things first, house gets cleaned. I have yet to figure out how it got so messy overnight (eh em, my husband) for me to have to reclean every. single. day. But its messy, so therefore it is our first project. Stephen always tells me he is going to help, but somehow every morning, he sneaks over to the TV with his cereal bowl and turns on PBS, desperately waiting for Curious George to come on. At this point I let the dog into the living room to clean up the other half of Stephen's breakfast that he drops on the floor. The dog is VERY helpful when it comes to cleaning (minus the clumps of hair and muddy footprints all over my carpet and sofas). Delaney on the other hand, not so helpful. She wants to be carried constantly, and I'm a baby wearing mama, so this is not a challenge for me. But, she is not a fan of my constant bending over to pick things up - and I'm not a fan of cleaning on my knees in order to not have to bend down so far. We are trying to compromise. I have one of those saucer seat things for her...she pretty much hates it because she knows that as soon as I put her in it, I'm going to walk away. She enjoys playing on the floor with toys, but so does Stephen, and he likes to drive his cars over her face. She doesn't like that. Eventually, after a lot of crying and screaming and pouting and whining, the house gets somewhat cleaned, and we can truly begin our day of fun.
I call this fun, because I get my first break. Delaney takes her morning nap (we hope - as long as Stephen doesn't have any meltdowns during the nursing/nap process). We now begin Mommy and Stephen Art Extravaganza!!! I pull out finger paints and markers and crayons and construction paper and cotton balls and scissors (yikes!) and need I say more? We make a GIANT mess and enjoy every minute of it. I absolutely love craft time with him. He is so creative and artistic! I have yet to get him on board with finishing up and cleaning up - a temper tantrum usually happens in the middle of this - but we're working on it. And then its lunch time. If his temper tantrum woke up Delaney, sometimes we will make a special trip up to Daddy's work to get Stephen a "special" lunch (usually something junky that I shouldn't be feeding him, but its an excuse to visit Dad and it gets us out of the house for a few minutes). If we are lucky enough to have Delaney sleep through the chaos, we usually eat a sandwich - peanut butter and jelly or grilled cheese - with some fruits and veggies. I love lunch time. It gives me a few moments of peace, and sometimes it gives me a chance to jump on the computer and see what the rest of the world is doing.
After lunch, we watch Word World. I'm sorry to all the anti-TV parents out there (I used to be one), but it is an incredibly educating television show and sometimes it can stretch out my few moments of "me time" or it gives me a chance to nurse Delaney and prepare myself for the dreaded...Nap Time.
When Word World is over, Stephen knows it is time to take a nap. 99.9% of the time he tries to talk me into letting him stay up and watch Barney (yuck!), and 32% of the time, I give in. Through lots of screaming, kicking, hitting, biting, and banging his head against the wall, I make it very clear to Stephen that I love him very much...but its still time to take a nap. He pees, I give him a cup of almond milk, and eventually he falls asleep (or he just sits in his bed and reads books). Now, if it is a good day, Delaney has made it through ALL of this, and I finally have some real ME time. This is when I blog, facebook, make phone calls to clients, fold laundry...but heaven forbid I pick up a book. Delaney has a little alarm clock in her head that only responds to Mommy picking up a book. I don't even get to read a sentence. The second I pick it up, she is awake. Heck, if I even THINK about reading a book, her eyes open. Anyway, I enjoy my few moments of quiet. If Delaney didn't sleep through the craziness, we take this time to tickle, make goofy noises, and play peek-a-boo. I love getting one on one time with her. She is going to be such a beautiful young lady. She is precious.
Stephen wakes up from his nap, Daddy gets home from work, Delaney attempts to take another nap (usually with no such luck), one of us makes dinner (I usually start it and Mike finishes because of a crying child), we eat dinner and look forward to 8 o'clock. Stephen goes to bed - usually without a fight! :) And Delaney goes to bed. This is when most parents have a sense of relief and sit down to spend some quality time together. But not in our house. Delaney is just playing a trick on you...she's not really going to bed. You see, she doesn't go to sleep for the night, until I am sleeping next to her. Sounds sweet? Yea, in a way it is. But pretty much not. I chug a glass of chocolate milk and sit next to Mike while we try to fit our entire day's experiences in about 30 seconds and she starts crying. Good night - yes, every night...at 8:30. I'm starting to think that I am 56 instead of 26.
Winter blues? I have a solution. There is no such thing in our house. Have children. They will take up every waking moment (and even sleeping moment) - but my God, they make that time so precious. Perfect. I will forever be sarcastic and complain about my daily life, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Can't wait for baby number 3!
I suck it up and I wake up in the morning and say, "The sun will come out, not tomorrow, but in a few more months". And I smile at my children (who I swear are smiling back at me through the tears) and start to clean the house. A messy house NEVER helps with the winter blues, so first things first, house gets cleaned. I have yet to figure out how it got so messy overnight (eh em, my husband) for me to have to reclean every. single. day. But its messy, so therefore it is our first project. Stephen always tells me he is going to help, but somehow every morning, he sneaks over to the TV with his cereal bowl and turns on PBS, desperately waiting for Curious George to come on. At this point I let the dog into the living room to clean up the other half of Stephen's breakfast that he drops on the floor. The dog is VERY helpful when it comes to cleaning (minus the clumps of hair and muddy footprints all over my carpet and sofas). Delaney on the other hand, not so helpful. She wants to be carried constantly, and I'm a baby wearing mama, so this is not a challenge for me. But, she is not a fan of my constant bending over to pick things up - and I'm not a fan of cleaning on my knees in order to not have to bend down so far. We are trying to compromise. I have one of those saucer seat things for her...she pretty much hates it because she knows that as soon as I put her in it, I'm going to walk away. She enjoys playing on the floor with toys, but so does Stephen, and he likes to drive his cars over her face. She doesn't like that. Eventually, after a lot of crying and screaming and pouting and whining, the house gets somewhat cleaned, and we can truly begin our day of fun.
I call this fun, because I get my first break. Delaney takes her morning nap (we hope - as long as Stephen doesn't have any meltdowns during the nursing/nap process). We now begin Mommy and Stephen Art Extravaganza!!! I pull out finger paints and markers and crayons and construction paper and cotton balls and scissors (yikes!) and need I say more? We make a GIANT mess and enjoy every minute of it. I absolutely love craft time with him. He is so creative and artistic! I have yet to get him on board with finishing up and cleaning up - a temper tantrum usually happens in the middle of this - but we're working on it. And then its lunch time. If his temper tantrum woke up Delaney, sometimes we will make a special trip up to Daddy's work to get Stephen a "special" lunch (usually something junky that I shouldn't be feeding him, but its an excuse to visit Dad and it gets us out of the house for a few minutes). If we are lucky enough to have Delaney sleep through the chaos, we usually eat a sandwich - peanut butter and jelly or grilled cheese - with some fruits and veggies. I love lunch time. It gives me a few moments of peace, and sometimes it gives me a chance to jump on the computer and see what the rest of the world is doing.
After lunch, we watch Word World. I'm sorry to all the anti-TV parents out there (I used to be one), but it is an incredibly educating television show and sometimes it can stretch out my few moments of "me time" or it gives me a chance to nurse Delaney and prepare myself for the dreaded...Nap Time.
When Word World is over, Stephen knows it is time to take a nap. 99.9% of the time he tries to talk me into letting him stay up and watch Barney (yuck!), and 32% of the time, I give in. Through lots of screaming, kicking, hitting, biting, and banging his head against the wall, I make it very clear to Stephen that I love him very much...but its still time to take a nap. He pees, I give him a cup of almond milk, and eventually he falls asleep (or he just sits in his bed and reads books). Now, if it is a good day, Delaney has made it through ALL of this, and I finally have some real ME time. This is when I blog, facebook, make phone calls to clients, fold laundry...but heaven forbid I pick up a book. Delaney has a little alarm clock in her head that only responds to Mommy picking up a book. I don't even get to read a sentence. The second I pick it up, she is awake. Heck, if I even THINK about reading a book, her eyes open. Anyway, I enjoy my few moments of quiet. If Delaney didn't sleep through the craziness, we take this time to tickle, make goofy noises, and play peek-a-boo. I love getting one on one time with her. She is going to be such a beautiful young lady. She is precious.
Stephen wakes up from his nap, Daddy gets home from work, Delaney attempts to take another nap (usually with no such luck), one of us makes dinner (I usually start it and Mike finishes because of a crying child), we eat dinner and look forward to 8 o'clock. Stephen goes to bed - usually without a fight! :) And Delaney goes to bed. This is when most parents have a sense of relief and sit down to spend some quality time together. But not in our house. Delaney is just playing a trick on you...she's not really going to bed. You see, she doesn't go to sleep for the night, until I am sleeping next to her. Sounds sweet? Yea, in a way it is. But pretty much not. I chug a glass of chocolate milk and sit next to Mike while we try to fit our entire day's experiences in about 30 seconds and she starts crying. Good night - yes, every night...at 8:30. I'm starting to think that I am 56 instead of 26.
Winter blues? I have a solution. There is no such thing in our house. Have children. They will take up every waking moment (and even sleeping moment) - but my God, they make that time so precious. Perfect. I will forever be sarcastic and complain about my daily life, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Can't wait for baby number 3!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
It's A Giveaway!!!
I think it is about time we joined in the fun of giveaways! Our website http://www.nurturingnaturedoulaservices.com/ is donating tea for this giveaway! The winner can choose from the pregnancy blend, the nursing blend, or can get some of each! Check out the products page on their website to see which one (or both) you would like.
You have the chance to enter this drawing up to three times!
1 - Go to www.facebook.com/nurturingnaturedoulaservices and 'like' the page. After you have 'liked' it, leave a post on the page stating which tea (or both) you would like to win. If you are already a fan of the page, leave a post stating you are already a fan and which tea you would like.
2 - Follow this blog! After you "click" the follow button, leave a comment telling me that you are following me.
3 - Suggest our facebook page to friends! After you have liked our facebook page, click "suggest to friends" under our profile picture and spread the word so others can join in the fun! After you are done suggesting, leave a comment on this blog stating, "I suggested you to my friends!"
Don't forget to make sure that I know your name so I can announce the winner at the end of the giveaway! The giveaway will end on Monday, February 7th @ 8:00pm Eastern time. The winner will be announced the next day. Winner will be announced on this blog and on our facebook page.
Have fun and I can't wait to hear from you!
You have the chance to enter this drawing up to three times!
1 - Go to www.facebook.com/nurturingnaturedoulaservices and 'like' the page. After you have 'liked' it, leave a post on the page stating which tea (or both) you would like to win. If you are already a fan of the page, leave a post stating you are already a fan and which tea you would like.
2 - Follow this blog! After you "click" the follow button, leave a comment telling me that you are following me.
3 - Suggest our facebook page to friends! After you have liked our facebook page, click "suggest to friends" under our profile picture and spread the word so others can join in the fun! After you are done suggesting, leave a comment on this blog stating, "I suggested you to my friends!"
Don't forget to make sure that I know your name so I can announce the winner at the end of the giveaway! The giveaway will end on Monday, February 7th @ 8:00pm Eastern time. The winner will be announced the next day. Winner will be announced on this blog and on our facebook page.
Have fun and I can't wait to hear from you!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
To My Daughter
My dear Delaney Jo,
And so it begins. The life of an amazing girl, woman. You are going to touch so many hearts. You already have.
I spent 9+ months carrying you in my womb. And in that time, I read hundreds of books and articles, and I watched dozens of films trying to figure out one thing: How to give my baby the most peaceful, spiritual, gentle entrance into this world.
My discovery? To never leave my home. Our home.
Every time I would put Stephen down for his nap or to bed for the night, I would pick up where I left off in my books. And every time I would read about the birth I desired, you would kick me like crazy. It was my sign. You were literally nudging me in the right direction. And here you are. The girl that made me whole again.
I lost my faith in God and in Mother Nature, and most importantly, I lost faith in myself. I needed you to remind me how amazing and powerful I am with the help and love from God. You are my angel.
I labored, and doubted my ability. I labored, and grew confident in your ability. I pushed, and grew confident in our ability. And then out you came. Your Daddy handed you between my legs and into my arms.
Peacefully
Spiritually
Gently
You are so beautiful and perfect. Your smile warms my heart and soul. Your laughter brings the sunshine.
I will love you and protect you forever.
I can't wait to see your life unfold. Don't ever forget where you came from. Love everyone for their strengths as well as their faults. Pray. Everyday.
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
I love you.
Love,
Mommy
And so it begins. The life of an amazing girl, woman. You are going to touch so many hearts. You already have.
I spent 9+ months carrying you in my womb. And in that time, I read hundreds of books and articles, and I watched dozens of films trying to figure out one thing: How to give my baby the most peaceful, spiritual, gentle entrance into this world.
My discovery? To never leave my home. Our home.
Every time I would put Stephen down for his nap or to bed for the night, I would pick up where I left off in my books. And every time I would read about the birth I desired, you would kick me like crazy. It was my sign. You were literally nudging me in the right direction. And here you are. The girl that made me whole again.
I lost my faith in God and in Mother Nature, and most importantly, I lost faith in myself. I needed you to remind me how amazing and powerful I am with the help and love from God. You are my angel.
I labored, and doubted my ability. I labored, and grew confident in your ability. I pushed, and grew confident in our ability. And then out you came. Your Daddy handed you between my legs and into my arms.
Peacefully
Spiritually
Gently
You are so beautiful and perfect. Your smile warms my heart and soul. Your laughter brings the sunshine.
I will love you and protect you forever.
I can't wait to see your life unfold. Don't ever forget where you came from. Love everyone for their strengths as well as their faults. Pray. Everyday.
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
I love you.
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
To My Son
To my dearest Stephen,
Thank you. Thank you for your energy; it reminds me that I too, am young. Thank you for your love; it keeps my faith strong in God. Thank you for being you; you are perfect in every way.
Everyday it is amazing to wake up and see how you have grown. You are so smart and creative. I love watching you discover the art of "pretend". I am so proud of your imagination. You are unbelievably handsome. I do not look forward to the days when girls will be calling our phone at all hours of the night. I don't want you to ever have your heart broken. I want you to be my little boy forever.
I love singing songs with you, and I love your love for music. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, ABCs and Uncle Danny Boy will forever remind me of our peaceful nights, that are so appreciated after the chaotic days.
I am sorry that I didn't learn more before and during the days you were in my womb. I wish I could go back in time and give you the birth you deserved. Thank you for forgiving me for my ignorance. I am sorry that I didn't protect you and that you entered this world so violently. What a strong boy you are for enduring that experience. I am sorry for not protecting you from circumcision. Whether or not you are happy with it when you are grown, you should have been able to make that decision on your own.
I am sorry for my temper, my ever-changing discipline strategies, and my impatience. You deserve so much more love, patience, and solid boundaries. Thank you for letting me grow up as a mother and teaching me what is important.
I promise to you, Stephen, that I will do everything to be the best Mommy I can be. I will take each day as it comes, and I will learn and grow with you.
A great woman once told me, that our children choose us. I believe her. I don't know why you chose me, but by the grace of God, I am going to show you that you made the right choice. Everything happens for a reason. Your birth happened for a reason - maybe to push us both to our limits and to show us how strong we are; individually and together. We push eachother to our limits everyday, and at the end of the day, I am thankful for that.
You make me a better person.
I love you, Stephen. So much. More than you will ever know (until you have children of your own).
Lub,
Mommy
Thank you. Thank you for your energy; it reminds me that I too, am young. Thank you for your love; it keeps my faith strong in God. Thank you for being you; you are perfect in every way.
Everyday it is amazing to wake up and see how you have grown. You are so smart and creative. I love watching you discover the art of "pretend". I am so proud of your imagination. You are unbelievably handsome. I do not look forward to the days when girls will be calling our phone at all hours of the night. I don't want you to ever have your heart broken. I want you to be my little boy forever.
I love singing songs with you, and I love your love for music. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, ABCs and Uncle Danny Boy will forever remind me of our peaceful nights, that are so appreciated after the chaotic days.
I am sorry that I didn't learn more before and during the days you were in my womb. I wish I could go back in time and give you the birth you deserved. Thank you for forgiving me for my ignorance. I am sorry that I didn't protect you and that you entered this world so violently. What a strong boy you are for enduring that experience. I am sorry for not protecting you from circumcision. Whether or not you are happy with it when you are grown, you should have been able to make that decision on your own.
I am sorry for my temper, my ever-changing discipline strategies, and my impatience. You deserve so much more love, patience, and solid boundaries. Thank you for letting me grow up as a mother and teaching me what is important.
I promise to you, Stephen, that I will do everything to be the best Mommy I can be. I will take each day as it comes, and I will learn and grow with you.
A great woman once told me, that our children choose us. I believe her. I don't know why you chose me, but by the grace of God, I am going to show you that you made the right choice. Everything happens for a reason. Your birth happened for a reason - maybe to push us both to our limits and to show us how strong we are; individually and together. We push eachother to our limits everyday, and at the end of the day, I am thankful for that.
You make me a better person.
I love you, Stephen. So much. More than you will ever know (until you have children of your own).
Lub,
Mommy
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